1. The following six strategies can help your child with bullies: Help, Assert yourself, Humor, Avoid, Self talk, Own it. These six strategies are easily remembered by children with the phrase "HA HA SO." Children are encouraged to imagine an invisible shield that drops over them with the letters "HA HA SO" on the shield. They can use these protective strategies and one or more can be chosen during a bullying situation.

Help. Get help. Find a friend or adult you can count on.

Assert yourself. Use an "I" statement to protect yourself. Say something like, "I like being different" or "I am sorry you don't want to get to know me better before you call me that."

Humor. Use humor. Do or say something funny or even something just plain outrageous to throw the bully off balance. For example, if called a "chicken," start walking like a chicken and flapping your arms.

Avoid. Stay away from bullies. If you notice a bully and can take another path across the playground, do that.

Self talk. Give yourself a silent pep talk, reminding yourself of positive things. For example, you might think of something like, "I may not be good at track, but I'm proud of how I play the clarinet."

Own it. If the put-down is about clothing or something you can change, just agree with the bully. Say something like, "Yeah, I don't like this sweater either. It sure is ugly, but I wore it because my aunt made it, and she is visiting this week." (Caution your child not to use this technique for something inherent to the child, such as skin color or ethnic group.) If the put-down is about something you can't or don't want to change, hold your head high, own who you are with pride, and tell the other child you like being who you are.

 

Written by Carla Garrity, Ph.D.; Kathryn Jens, Ph.D.; William Porter, Ph.D.; Nancy Sager; Cam Short-Camilli, M.S.W. Copyright 1997 C. Garrity, K. Jens, W. Porter, N. Sager, C. Short-Camilli