Avoid fatigue

If you don't get enough sleep, nothing will seem to turn out right. Pick a reasonable bedtime and stay with it. Cut corners in other areas but protect your sleep time.

Provide contact time with your child

Research has shown that both the quality and quantity of time you spend with your child are important. Try to make breakfast a pleasant, unhurried occasion. Try to talk with your child during the commute to and from the child care provider. Use the 30 minutes before bedtime to discuss the day's events with your child at your child's pace. Set aside special half-days on weekends to do things with your child. Also remember that including your child in adult activities such as shopping, cooking, washing, and home repair is also quality time. You are providing enough input if your child is usually happy.

Reduce your housework time

If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper. In any case, try to simplify your home life. A spotless house must become a low priority. Do less cooking; make triple recipes and freeze leftovers. In addition, make a date for a night out with your spouse or a friend at least once a week; relaxation time is essential, not frivolous or wasteful.

Ask other family members for help

It is imperative that spouses participate in the housework and child care. Responsibility for these tasks must be redistributed to prevent the mother from becoming overworked. For example, the father can help buy a son's clothing, take the children places, cook, and clean the house. School-age children can also be assigned some chores.

Watch out for feelings of guilt

Try to understand that "Supermom" is a myth. You can't do everything singlehandedly or perfectly. You need help and deserve help. If you have found a good child care provider, you should feel comfortable during the day about your child's well-being. Despite your best efforts, your child will sometimes cry when dropped off at day care and will sometimes become sick. Try not to rethink your career decision every time this happens.

Find extra help if you are a single parent

Try to find a friend with a child close in age to yours. Share shopping, overnight and weekend visits, baby-sitting, and other responsibilities with your friend. Trading services in this way will save you money. Living with another single mother may be mutually beneficial. Consider joining an organization for single parents.

Recommended Reading

T. Berry Brazelton, Working and Caring (Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1992).

Earl A. Grollman, et al., The Working Parent Dilemma (Boston: Beacon Press, 1988).

Written by B.D. Schmitt, M.D., author of "Your Child's Health," Bantam Books.