Understanding why your child is so difficult and resistant to discipline isn't easy. If you parent a strong-willed or behaviorally disordered child, your skills as a parent are constantly tested. Perhaps the biggest challenge is teaching your child to respect limits and instructions from authority figures. This job is not easy, but with hard work, support and effective parenting skills, you can teach your hard-to-handle child the skills necessary to help him or her behave.

Q. My toddler slaps and head-butts me when he's angry. Why does he do this hurtful behavior?

A. Often, young children who have difficult temperaments misbehave because they cannot cope with their strong feelings relating to…

• Frustration in communicating with others.
  
• Anger over disappointing situations.
  
• Jealousy toward a sibling or playmate.
  
• Desire for a sense of self-reliance.
  
• Anxiety toward or fear of new situations or routines.
  
• Illness, hunger or exhaustion.

Q. How can I stop this behavior?

A. It may sound simple, but the first thing to do is move out of the way. Sometimes the slaps and hurtful behavior come from out of the blue and catch you off guard. If your child's behavior is explosive, you should try using preventive measures to reduce problematic behavior, including…

• Practicing daily with your child how to control his or her emotions and ask for attention using verbal or non-aggressive gestures.
  
  
• Giving your child more small opportunities to receive and accept "no" answers and to experience change in different situations.
  
  
• Providing more time for your child to transition to uncertain, new or confusing situations.
  
  
• Offering distractions and empathy during problem-solving situations.
  
  
• Comforting and listening to your child's verbal and non-verbal responses to stress.
  
  
• Ignoring the tantrums and removing your child from attention-drawing situations to safety.

You must also remember to watch your own behavior. Control your vocal tone, language and physical responses. Too often, parents react inappropriately when feeling frustrated, stressed-out or angered by a child's behavior. It's important to take a deep breath and follow a few simple guidelines:

• Never mimic the child's behavior (biting, hitting or head-butting).
  
• Talk firmly and calmly to your child when he or she is calm.
  
• Follow through on consequences, but avoid overreacting.