Having time and having energy for your children are probably the two biggest challenges you face. Most of us realize that establishing a quality relationship with our children takes time and is especially difficult when we feel overwhelmed. The good news is that there are things we can do to improve the time we spend with our children. Does the following sound all too familiar to you?

Jennifer works hard all day, and by the time she picks up her two boys from daycare, she is dead on her feet. The boys, however, are all energy. She barely gets through dinner with both eyes open before the boys, ages 3 and 5, start roughhousing and whining. Often, all three fall asleep watching television in her bed. She knows things are only going to get worse, but she can't seem to break this cycle.

What can Jennifer do to turn things around? Make a firm plan. Create flexible routines. Use fun activities. Adopt frugal time-savers.

Before Jennifer does anything, she needs a plan. The plan is not the routine; rather it is the goals that are set for a certain time of day. For example, a plan for the evening may include goals such as getting the kids fed, bathed and in bed by 8:00 p.m. The routines are the activities that surround those goals. Routines should move children from one task to the next. It's best to have short, flexible routines set around firm goals.

For example…

• Make a plan: First, divide the day into morning, afternoon and evening. Next, choose a time during the day and set two or three major goals that need to be accomplished. Review your goals and make sure they can be achieved by you and your children. Test your goals by asking yourself if you have clear instructions for your child on what he or she is to do and whether or not he or she is developmentally ready. Finally, have your child demonstrate the task you've asked of him or her.
  
  
• Set-up the routine: You can use a sandwich technique to arrange events in the routine. In other words, place fun, unstructured events after structured routines. This will encourage your child's good behavior through to the next routine. Try to incorporate transition time between unstructured and structured events to allow your child - who may find it hard to stop a fun activity - time to transition into a structured task. Remember to use reasonable, consistent consequences if your child fails to listen or follow the routines.
  
  
• Create fun activities: You should plan activities you know your children will enjoy so they will be more willing to participate. For instance, after your children brush their teeth, grab the face paint to draw pictures. You can also let them draw on butcher paper and hang the results on their bedroom door. These types of activities can be sprinkled throughout the week as motivation for your children to continue their good behavior.
  
  
• Use frugal time-savers: When your time is limited, combine tasks. You can have playtime during the car ride home, for example. As you go from your child's school or daycare, allow him or her to color, read, play car games, play with hand toys or listen to sing-along tapes or audiobooks. If transitioning from playtime is a problem, use a transitional activity such as "Simon Says." This will get your child used to following clear, simple instructions. You can say, "Simon says, 'take off your jacket.'" "Simon says, 'hang your jacket on the hook.'" "Simon says, 'Put your backpack in your room.'"

These simple techniques can enhance the quality of time you spend with your children, and they can even open up a few more minutes in your day.