As an adult, you should be familiar with the concept of boundaries. Boundaries are the limits you set for relationships. They help you to recognize what is and what is not your responsibility, and defines what is acceptable or unacceptable in a relationship.

Different kinds of relationships have different kinds of boundaries. Physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual boundaries between siblings and parents feel and look different from boundaries between strangers, friends, co-workers or classmates.

Before your child can develop healthy relationships, he or she needs to understand the importance of creating a personal "safe space." When boundaries are too open, the results can be harmful emotionally and physically.

Here are some signs that your child's boundaries are too open; he or she:

• Shares personal information with acquaintances or strangers.
  
• Wears tight or revealing clothing.
  
• Stands too close to others.
  
• Makes sexual comments about other people's body parts.
  
• Has a tendency to believe everything people say.

You can guide your child in the process of deciding when to share personal thoughts and feelings. For example, private thoughts and feelings should be shared only with close friends and family members. Casual friends should talk about nonpersonal topics such as sports, school and movies. You can also encourage your child to establish friendships slowly, sharing private thoughts and feelings gradually and making sure trust is mutual and deserved.

Here are more tips on developing relationships and boundaries that you should share with your child:

• Identify trustworthy peers and make friends with them.
  
• Learn to avoid people who look out only for their own interests.
  
• Spend time with people you enjoy and who ask for nothing from you in return.
  
• Learn to say "No" to peer pressure.
  
• Trust your feelings of comfort or discomfort. These are good indicators of right and wrong.
  
• Learn how to think through and solve problems before reacting.
  
• Think about times when your personal boundaries were violated. Who was
  involved? What was the situation? Think of ways to handle the problem if it
  occurs again.
  
• Speak up when someone or something bothers you. Talk to adults you can trust.

These general rules can help your child establish and maintain healthy boundaries in all of his or her relationships. To learn more about personal boundaries and healthy relationships, check out these resources for parents and adolescents:

Boundaries: A Guide for Teens
What's Right for Me? Making Good Choices in Relationships
A Good Friend: How to Make One, How to Be One
Unmasking Sexual Con Games, Student Guide
Parenting to Build Character in Your Teen
Common Sense Parenting

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