Social Skill 5: Disagreeing With Others
When you don’t agree with another person’s opinion or decision, you should:
- Remain calm. Getting upset will only make matters worse.
- Look at the person. This shows that you have confidence.
- Begin with a positive or neutral statement. “I know you are trying to be fair, but ….”
- Explain why you disagree with the opinion or decision. Keep your voice tone level and controlled. Be brief and clear.
- Listen as the other person explains his or her side of the story.
- Calmly accept whatever opinion or decision is made.
- Thank the person for listening, regardless of the outcome.
Reasons for using the skill, Disagreeing with Others: It is important to disagree in a calm manner because it increases the chances that the other person will listen to you. This may be the only opportunity you have to challenge an opinion or get a decision changed. You have a right to express your opinions. But you lose that right if you become upset or aggressive. If the other person feels that you are going to lose self-control, you stand very little chance of getting your views across.
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You’re not going to win every time. Some opinions or decisions will not change. However, learning how to disagree calmly may help change some of them.
- Don’t try to change everything. People will view you as a pest.
- If you are calm and specific when you disagree, people will respect you for the mature way you handle situations. It pays off in the long run!
Social Skill 6: Asking for Help
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