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​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Kids get upset all the time, and for a wide variety of reasons. That’s why teaching them how to stay calm is such an essential skill. Learning to stay calm in difficult situations is the key to children’s success at home, in school, and throughout life.

As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children this skill, starting at an early age. The following tips ​are ways to help your child learn to control angry outbursts and avoid meltdowns that can turn small problems into more serious challenges.

1Monitor Your Own Emotions and Keep Them in Check.

One of the most important things parents can do to help their children learn to stay calm is to keep their own emotions under control. Modeling self-control is a great way to set a good example for kids. Staying calm is important in all emotional situations, but it’s especially important when correcting your kids. So, as long as everyone is safe, it’s okay for you to take a quick break to regain your composure before you address a negative behavior. The calmer you are, the calmer your child will be. When everyone is able to stay calm, emotional situations are ​less likely to get out of control, and problems are more likely to be resolved in a positive manner.


2Give Your Kids Space to Practice Their Calm-Down Strategies.

Even after making a plan and practicing, there will be times when children become upset. In the moment, encourage your kids to use their calming strategies and give them the time and space to do so. Also, avoid getting into power struggles when your child makes comments that you feel are personal attacks or arguing. And don’t discuss the issue that caused them to get upset until they have regained their composure.


3Be Sure to Recognize and Praise Progress.

When you notice that meltdowns are happening less often or don’t last as long, and you see your children trying to stay calm, praise and encourage them to continue that behavior. Remind them that if they are able to stay calm, they’re less likely to​ get into bigger trouble and will be able to get back to the fun stuff sooner.


4Use Our Coping Skills and Tools for Managing​ Anger.

Use our coping skills and tools for managing anger when ​creating ​a "staying-calm" plan for you and your child.


Helping kids grow into self-disciplined adults is a parent’s No. 1 job. In the long run, helping them stay calm is more important than the chore that doesn’t get done, the lost homework, or any other issue that can lead to an emotional response. Once you and your child learn to stay calm and avoid getting upset, there’s plenty of time to go back and address the original behaviors and problems.

Keep at it; helping your kids develop self-control is essential to their success in life and is worth the effort!

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