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Staying Calm

When people feel angry or upset, it's hard to stay calm. When we feel like "blowing up," we sometimes make poor choices. And usually when we make poor choices, we regret it later. If you feel that you are going to lose self-control, you should:

  1. Take a deep breath.
  2. Relax your muscles.
  3. Tell yourself to "Be calm," or count to ten.
  4. Share your feelings. After you are relaxed, tell someone you trust what is bothering you.
  5. Try to solve the situation that made you upset.

Reasons for using the skill Staying Calm: It is important to stay calm since worse things always seem to happen if you lose your temper. If you can stay calm, other people will depend on you more often. They will see you as able to handle bad situations. Teachers and employers will respect you and see you as someone who can keep his or her "cool."

Don't try to talk yourself into the idea that "blowing up" is the only thing to do, or that the person or thing that is upsetting you "deserves it." Forget it. It doesn't work that way. And, you're setting yourself up to get more or worse consequences. Be calm.

After you have calmed down, pat yourself on the back. Even adults have a hard time with self-control. If you can control yourself, you will have accomplished something that many adults are still struggling with. Give yourself some praise! You have done the right thing.