Skip Ribbon Commands
Skip to main content

When Children Must Grieve

April 19th, 2016     By Father Steven Boes, Boys Town National Executive Director 

Anxiety, Healing Families, Kids and Teens in Crisis, Suicide

Recently at Boys Town, our kids went through the sad, painful experience of losing one of their friends and fellow residents. The young man who passed away was well liked, a good student and a good athlete, and on his way to a bright future. His death was a shock to our boys and girls, not only because of its suddenness but also because most young people are not prepared to deal with the loss of someone their own age.

We don’t usually think of grieving as a social skill. But like many things teens and preteens aren’t able to do because they haven’t been exposed to certain life experiences, grieving is a behavior that must be learned, both through teaching and actually experiencing the emotions it brings.

At Boys Town, counselors, teachers, and caregivers met with students to help them through this tough time. Students cried, prayed as individuals and as a group, and attended a memorial service for their friend and “brother.”

We also gave our students some concrete behaviors for how to grieve and how to take care of themselves. These behaviors make up the following skill:

How to Grieve the Death of a Loved One or Friend

Unfortunately, death is a part of life and your children will eventually experience the loss of someone close to them. This will be one of the most difficult parenting tasks you will ever face. We suggest that you have conversations with your children about this topic and teach the skill of grieving so they will be better prepared, emotionally and physically, when those times come. (You may even want to take your child to the funeral of someone like a family friend whom the child does not know very well; that way, your child can see what happens during a service and observe how other people behave.)

Sadness and heartache dominate our emotions when a loved one or friend passes away. But grieving appropriately helps us remember and focus our attention on the positive things about our loved one, gives us a healthy way to express our feelings of sadness and loss, and provides us with an opportunity to grow stronger in our faith in God.

For more information regarding the loss of a loved one visit our Paren​ting Site.

 

Related Posts

 

 

Family Dynamics – the struggle is real – but so is the love.https://www.parenting.org/blog/Pages/Family-Dynamics-the-struggle-is-real-but-so-is-the-love.aspxFamily Dynamics – the struggle is real – but so is the love.Ah, familial bliss. Until it isn't, that's when you need to have positive ways of dealing with the dynamics in your back pocket, waiting to diffuse the situation.February 9, 2022Parenting AdviceAh, familial bliss. Until it isn't, that's when you need to have positive ways of dealing with the dynamics in your back pocket, waiting to diffuse the situation.Boys Town Contributer
Tik Tok Footage of School Shooting Prompts Parents to Open Discussion on What Their Children See Onlinehttps://www.parenting.org/blog/Pages/Tik-Tok-Footage-of-School-Shooting-Prompts-Parents-to-Open-Discussion-on-What-Their-Children-See-Online.aspxTik Tok Footage of School Shooting Prompts Parents to Open Discussion on What Their Children See OnlineSocial media today is exposing our children to situations that in the past were only seen on the news or read about in the newspaper. But today it is all too realFebruary 1, 2022Parenting AdviceSocial media today is exposing our children to situations that in the past were only seen on the news or read about in the newspaper. But today it is all too realBoys Town Contributor
Piling on the Praise Can Bring Peace to Sibling Rivalryhttps://www.parenting.org/blog/Pages/piling-on-the-praise-can-bring-peace-to-sibling-rivalry.aspxPiling on the Praise Can Bring Peace to Sibling RivalrySibling rivalry: two words that can strike fear in the hearts of every parent with more than one child.Since ancient days (remember Cain and Ab...March 7, 2019Parenting AdviceSibling rivalry: two words that can strike fear in the hearts of every parent with more than one child.Since ancient days (remember Cain and Ab...Kris Hallstrom, Manager, Boys Town National Hotline