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Getting Our 7-Year-Old to Use Manners


Our 7-year-old daughter doesn’t use her manners around us, even when we remind her, and her tone of voice and attitude are very rude and disrespectful. How can we get through to her that we expect her to use manners and be respectful, at home and in public?



Parenting is a tough job.  We know it's frustrating when you have taught her the right things to say and do and she still won't do them. 

In order to effectively change your daughter's undesirable behaviors, the first step is to preventively re-teach her manners, practicing what she should do and say in certain situations. Also, add a kid reason that shows how behaving this way will benefit her.

If a situation requires her to say "Please," "Thank you" or "Excuse me," and she doesn't do it, use the parenting skill of Corrective Teaching.  (This skill can be used to teach to any misbehavior your daughter uses.):

  1. Calmly and specifically describe what she did or failed to do.
  2. Give a consequence (loss of privilege or added chore).
  3. Specifically describe what she should do next time.
  4. Have her practice what she should do.

One more tip:  Focus on what you want your daughter to DO rather than what you want her TO NOT DO. This is a more positive approach and is more likely to produce positive results.