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Insect Issues


My 12-year-old stepson and I are having trouble coming to terms over his interest in insects. His father’s work keeps him away for weeks at a time, and his biological mother is not involved in his life. I spend more time with him than anyone else. I despise most insects. He brings black widows, ants, termites and other bugs into the home all the time. I have grandchildren who visit frequently and don’t want someone to get bit. There are other behavioral issues going on with my stepson (problems in school, not listening, not following instructions, hitting other kids, anger management, talking back to adults and telling lies). Unfortunately, my husband and I have been unsuccessful getting help to deal with these issues. What can you recommend on how to deal with the insect issue immediately? 



There are multiple issues going on with this young man as you described. First of all he is noncompliant as evidenced by his continuing to bring insects into your home after he has been asked not to. Have there been consequences as a result of his behaviors? If he can break rules and not experience any negative consequences, it will only reinforce the defiant behavior.
Behavioral therapists are very effective in helping young people learn to follow instructions, and may be able to help your stepson. You may want to talk with his father about accessing those services.
Now for an immediate resolution to the insect issue. Give your stepson at least two reasons why it is important to respect and follow your rule about not bringing ​bugs into the house. Then let him know what the negative consequences will be if this rule is broken, and perhaps what the positive consequence will be if he obeys the rule.