If you have not done so already, we encourage you to talk to your daughter’s pediatrician regarding a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist for a mental health evaluation. This evaluation can help determine if your daughter is struggling with a mental health issue and if further intervention is needed, such as counseling.
It is important that you discuss with your daughter how her behavior affects others. Do not shy away from it out of fear that it will hurt her feelings. Be kind, but be direct. She already knows that her peers are responding to her negatively, but she does not seem to understand why.
It is important to teach her skills such as having a conversation, getting along with others, accepting criticism, listening to others, etc. Acquiring these skills will result in more positive social interactions with her peers. She will come to learn what is and what is not acceptable behavior.
Is your daughter involved in extracurricular activities like sports or dance? These activities provide a sense of accomplishment and bring her into contact with other children who share her interests. Volunteering is another good option. It causes your daughter to think of others’ needs rather than focusing on herself so much.
You might want to consider a parenting class to help you deal with your daughter’s behavior. You could also read the book “Common Sense Parenting: Using Your Head as Well as Your Heart to Raise School-Aged Children” by Ray Burke, Ph.D., Ron Herron and Bridget A. Barnes. This book contains information on the social skills previously mentioned and how best to teach these skills.