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How to help my son who is violent, aggressive, and disrespectful of other people’s boundaries?


​My 13-year-old son pulled a knife on his older brother and younger sister. He beats his little sister up almost daily. She is 10 years old. He is also breaking into the neighbor's shed and cars and stealing stuff. He also breaks into my vehicles all the time. He leaves the house whenever he wants. He doesn't think he has to ask. He punched my friend in the face and kicked her. He destroyed his bedroom walls with a knife, fist, feet, and hatchet. He has been charged with third degree sexual assault. He thinks it's funny and ok to grab his little sisters butt, crotch, and chest. He also thinks it's funny to depants her. How do I get him into Boys Town and get him the help he needs?​


Boys Town - Aggressive Child

​​Thank you for reaching out to the Boys Town National Hotline today. We are so sorry to hear about these concerns you are having with your son. Parenting is not easy, and it is understandable if you are feeling overwhelmed from these very serious and intense incidents that are occurring. It's great you found our contact information today and decided to reach out! It can be hard to ask for help sometimes, but we are so glad you did. 

The first step in getting a child placed at Boys Town would be to call Boys Town Admissions at 1-800-989-0000 or email admissions at You will be able to discuss the possibility of placement and what requirements/information will be needed. There is also more information about the admissions process, including a brochure and the online application that can be found at: Admission | Boys Town

In the meantime, it is important you continue to do what you can to keep yourself and your children safe. Have you called Child Protective Services in Nebraska to report these behaviors? You would want to report the incidents where your son touched your daughter inappropriately and continues being physical with her. By reporting this to CPS and getting their involvement, your son may be able to get the support/services he needs quicker. To make this report (if you have not already), you can call CPS's 24/7 line at 1-800-652-1999. We know this call can be scary, so if you would like any support at all, we would be glad to provide that and assist. 

You mentioned that your son pulled a knife on his siblings, and he also destroyed his room with a knife and a hatchet. Where are these items now? Are they locked up? We would suggest if these items are still accessible to your son, they are locked up or removed from the house completely. It is important for everyone's safety that these items that your son can use as a weapon are safely locked away or removed from the home – knives, tools, razors, guns, even glass items like a lamp or picture frame. If there is no place to safely lock these items away from your son, you may want to ask a neighbor or family member to store these items until there is a plan put in place for safety. 

When your son leaves the house without permission/runs away and when he breaks into vehicles, have the police been called? We highly encourage you to call the police and make a runaway report every time your son leaves the home without your permission, even if this is multiple times a day. This is the safest option for both you and your son. The county may also step in when they see these reports are continuing to be made and there could be some legal intervention like diversion, probation, or an ankle monitor which would provide some additional support. Sometimes in situations like these, an evaluation will be court ordered which could help identify if there are any mental health needs that could be causing these behaviors. 

We hope some of these suggestions point you in the right direction. We would love to talk with you over the phone as it sounds like there is a lot going on and we may be able to better assist you and provide support that way. You can call the Boys Town Hotline anytime at 1-800-448-3000. Crisis Counselors are available 24/7 to listen and provide support and guidance. There is also the Nebraska Family Helpline that Boys Town connects with. This Helpline provides support to families living in Nebraska. They have referrals, advice, and support that can be offered over the phone. They also can be reached 24/7 at 888-866-8660. 

Please do not hesitate to reach out. We would love to help in any way we can. Parenting can be very difficult at times, and we are here to help you through these tough moments!