YOU DISAGREE WITH MOM AND DAD’S PARENTING STYLE. NOW WHAT?

Across generations of parents, countless differences in parenting styles are common. Some are small while others might be so great that it would seem like today's parents are raising their children on different planets. Now that you're a grandparent, you're likely picking up on the differences between the parenting style of the parents and your own. You've probably also noticed your child doing some things exactly as you did, which might make you feel proud.

But how do you feel about the things they do differently? Do you laugh to yourself, thinking that will never work? Do you become upset, thinking that your grandchild will in some way suffer the consequences of not being raised the way you would raise them? Do you feel jealous that your child and his or her spouse has found better ways to do discipline? When should you keep quiet? When can you speak up?

Taking a Backseat as Grandparents Isn't Easy, but It's Usually for the Best
As a grandparent, it can be difficult to take a back seat to parenting, but it's the best thing to do. Your grandchild is Mom and Dad's responsibility, and the methods, rules, schedules, and structures used to rear the child ultimately fall under their jurisdiction. Things may not always be done the "right" way (your way), but it's every parent's right to learn, make mistakes, and pave their own parenting path. It's your job to be supportive and offer advice when it's wanted.

Here are some tips to keep in mind to help keep the peace:

When You Should Speak Up
Like any good rule, there are exceptions to keeping quiet. If your grandchild is in danger or their safety or health is at risk, then you must speak up and intervene on their behalf. If there are extreme consequences your grandchild will suffer due to neglectful or negligent parenting, then it's not only okay for you to step in, it's your obligation.

If you're ever in doubt about whether or not to speak up or criticize, evaluate the situation. Then, think back to when you were a young parent. Did your parents or in-laws try to tell you how to parent your child? If they did, think about how that made you feel. Follow the Golden Rule, and you'll be golden as a grandparent.