Sure, Your Life Your Voice is written to reach out to tweens and teens, but the coping skills we teach work for everyone! So, the next time your kids throw out a whopper like “I hate you,” a challenge like “You can’t make me” or every parent’s biggest fear “I want to end my life,” make sure you have this series saved so you can do some quick research and defuse the situation. (Better yet, look at the resources as the series progresses and be ready at a moment’s notice to offer the best response possible under whatever circumstances you find yourself facing.)

1. “I hate you!”

Chances are you’ll hear this one at least once in your life. It may be a momentary reaction to restrictions or simply a shot at making you see red. Either way, you should have a plan on how to manage your own anger before what’s a bad situation gets a whole lot worse (like saying something you can’t take back). 🔗 4 Ways to Manage Your Anger (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

2. “I want a different mom/dad.”

And right now, you’re choking on the words, “I wish I had a different child.” DON’T DO IT! You are the adult here, and if there’s going to be progress toward changing hearts and minds, you’ll have to be the one to build that bridge. So, take a deep breath and read our article about building bridges instead of walls. 🔗 Build A Bridge, Not A Wall (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

3. “You don’t care about me.”

Nothing frustrates parents more than this statement from a child you not only care about but love deeply. Just remember, the tween and teen years are times of great emotional growth and upheaval. When your child feels like nobody cares, a little empathy will go a long way toward understanding instead of reacting. 🔗 Empathy (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

4. “No one loves me. (No one cares about me).”

This is always heartbreaking to hear. Before you encounter it, it might be best to mentally have a list of all the ways you show love to your child. You don’t necessarily need to list them at that moment, but being prepared helps avoid falling into the “poor me” trap. 🔗 Stop Negative Thoughts (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Letting Go of Negative Feelings (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

5. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Ah yes, because you were never a tween or teen, right? You do understand, but with layers of wisdom added on that your child may not wish to acknowledge. Be careful not to play the “know it all.” Many things have changed since you were a kid, and your child may not be 100% wrong. 🔗 Tips & Tools (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

6. “You can’t make me!”

Once kids are tweens and teens, you really can’t make them do anything. You can make them sit at the table, but you can’t make them learn the math. Maybe it’s time to turn this conversation on its head and help them realize they need to make themselves do the important things in life. 🔗 Finding Your Motivation (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

7. “I hate myself.”

This is a tricky one—because you can’t change how someone feels about themselves. If you think your child truly means this, counseling might be needed. But you can share these articles with your child, which build upon one another to help improve self-esteem. 🔗 Your Self Esteem (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Feeling Better About Yourself (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 101 Positive Things to Say to Myself (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

8. “I’m worried.”

Kids who experience excessive worry may start avoiding social situations and activities. With their still-developing brains, emotions can feel bigger than they are. Helping them learn to put their worries into perspective creates happier, better-adjusted teens. 🔗 Worrying (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Feelings Plan (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Fight-or-Flight Response (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

9. “I’m sad.”

Even if you think what they’re sad about is silly—empathy first. Kids can feel deeply about things that make sense and things that don’t. Listening and support prevent them from feeling alone in their sadness. 🔗 Managing Emotional Pain (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Your Feelings are OK (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 12 Steps To Overcome Depression (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Depression.pdf (yourlifeyourvoice.org)

10. “I want to hurt myself.”

Take a deep breath and don’t panic. Self-harm, or “cutting,” is not the same as attempting suicide. The articles below are excellent resources to read before talking to your child. If you need expert advice, the Boys Town Hotline is always available. 🔗 Self-Injury (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Self Injury: Learning To Ride The Wave (yourlifeyourvoice.org) 🔗 Creating a Safety Plan (yourlifeyourvoice.org)