We are glad you discovered our website and are reaching out tonight. We can appreciate the frustration and concern you conveyed in your email about your son's behavior, as well as your husband's behavior. It is good that you recognize the issues and want to take action to improve the situation. Like the old saying goes, "If we keep doing the same things the same way, things will stay the same."
First, it is important for you and your husband to be on the "same page" and support each other in your parenting efforts. It is very easy to start pointing fingers at each other for what is taking place in your home. But that only deepens the problems. You might consider seeking counseling or signing up for a local parenting class. This could strengthen the support you need to give each other, and help you develop consistent, effective parenting strategies that both you and your husband can commit to using. Taking a parenting class doesn't mean you are bad parents; it just means you're getting some help for the difficult situation you've described.
As for your son, he also might benefit from counseling. He seems to have had a lot to deal with in his young life, and learning how to process his feelings in positive ways would be helpful.
Again, seeking outside assistance does not point to any failures on the part of you or your husband. It simply allows a professional to observe what is going on and make suggestions.
Counselors are available 24/7 at our National Hotline (1-800-448-3000) to support your parenting efforts. You also can find parenting articles and videos on our website, www.boystown.org/parenting.
We are glad you are reaching out; it is the brave and wise thing to do for your whole family.
