It's not necessarily what's right or what's wrong. It's really about what matters to you and what you value and those places where you take a stand in your life and what your hoping that your children show up in the world with and how they relate to the world.
You know, it could be integrity, it could be honesty, it could be work ethic, it could be responsibility - those things that you feel are really important in being a full-functioning, contributing human being.
When you come from there, you don't get so caught up in the: Did they make the team? Did they get the A? Or are they first? Or did they win? That is where suffering occurs because we don't always win and we don't always get the A.
If you shift your focus to: What is it about that that matters to me? What am I hoping gets developed? Those will never leave you. They are a great compass and they are a great solid place to come from in your parenting. The clearer you are about those, the more effective you are in your parenting.